A Spongebob Watched Community
by Black Rose Dye
Summary: Follow the lives of the citizens of Konoha as they live in a Spongebob Watched Community. Most of my ideas are from random people, namely Aresu, Michi, and Ecoli and Chi.
1. Spongbob the Childblock

Chapter 1: Voice Dubbing! (Spongebob the Childblock)

Kiseki Kuroro had a thing for Sasuke. She really did. She had a collection of Sasuke 'action figures' or whatever boys call their dolls these days, all of them tied up with the heads missing. The heads had toothpicks stuck into them. She also collected lots of Sasuke pictures with numerous holes through them, and two more were taped to her dartboard. She also had quite a few plushies that she made herself (along with a few bought on eBay). Need I say what happaned to those?

Yes, she hated Sasuke more than anything in her entire life.

X.x

"Kiseki-chan's late." Sakura noticed.

Sasuke sighed. "Thank you, Sir Points-out-the-obvious."

Sakura giggled loudly. "Oh, I just pointed out the obvious again, didn't I?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Never mind. I'm changing your name to Sir Points-out-the-obvious-_a-lot._" Sakura giggled again. "Are you drunk?"

Naruto snapped out of the daze he had been in. "Is she pointing out the obvious again?"

Sasuke slowly turned his head toward Naruto. "Where have you been for the past four hours?"

"I dunno. Somewhere, I guess..." he spaced out again.

"Of all people to be stuck on a four-man squad, it just had to be those two and-"

"Konyanachiwa!" a terribly loud voice yelled.

"Oh, dear Lord, not _her!"_ Sasuke cried. Of course, the fourth member always came at the wrong time.

The black-haired kunoichi appeared in a puff of smoke. A goofy grin was plastered across her face. "I'm making a movie!" she announced.

Every ninja in town rushed up to her out of nowhere.

"But Spongebob is gonna be in it. Kurt might be too!"

Gaara, Naruto, and Sasuke shuddered.

(Flashback)

Kiseki's cousin, Aresu (that's Alex in Japanese) was playing with his Naruto, Gaara, and Sasuke dolls. And a gigantic Spongebob plushie.

Sasuke: I'm playing (Spongebob: Mario!) Why the (SB: Heck!) Can't I (SB: Freaking!) Say (SB: Mario!)

(In case you didn't know, SB stands for SpongeBob. Duh!)

Naruto: Because Spongebob only likes to say (SB: Mario!)

Sasuke: Well, gee! That's a pretty (SB: Darn!) Stupid rule.

Spongebob: Oh no you didn't! (Beats the mother-loving snot outta Sasuke)

Gaara: It's Thanksgiving tonight!

Naruto: Let's have Sasuke!

Gaara: Oh, Sasuke!

Sasuke: Yes?

Gaara: We found your special unicycle!

Sasuke: Oh boy!

Gaara grabs a knife and gets closer to Sasuke

Spongebob: This scene is a little too inappropriate for you little kids! You will watch the Phantom of the Opera instead! (Puts on a black mask like the one Zorro has) Oh, Kate-monster! How dare you stuff your bra! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (takes a pink ball and starts kicking it)

(Apparently the violent scene is over. Now you can stop watching this frightening thing.)

Gaara: Would you like the (SB: Donkey!) Or the (SB: Peepee!)

Naruto: I'll take the (Peepee!)

(Aresu is so clever with words isn't he?)

(End flashback)

See why they don't want to be in anymore movies?


	2. Sasuke the Cow and Neji the Sheep

Chapter 2: Tryouts; Sasuke the Cow and Neji the Sheep

"Tryouts Thursday afternoon, three p.m., be there or _be square!_" Kiseki growled. She handed everyone a copy of the script. "Ja'ne!"

Gai squealed. "I just know I'm gonna get the part of Juliet-chan!"

Everyone started at him.

"There is no Juliet. You're thunking of Shakespeare." Kakashi patted his creepy rival with living eyebrows on the head. Gai hissed and bit his hand. Kakashi screamed like the little girl he is.

"Whoa! Where'd Kakashi-sensei learn how to scream like a girl?" Kiseki and Naruto were amazed.

Lee did a weird happy-dance and started chanting. "Bite the old man! Bite the old man!"

"I'M TWENTY-SIX!!!" Kakashi (cougholdmancough) screamed.

X.x

At the tryouts:

"Alright, Gai. It's your turn." Kiseki sighed. There were only, like, twenty people in Konoha and yet half of them sucked at acting!

Naruto was half asleep. "Is it over yet?" he whined.

Kiseki shook her head. "Sadly, no."

Naruto moaned. "How many more are left?"

"Once Gai's done, it's Sasuke-teme and then Neji-kun. And then we can go to Ichiraku's!" they cheered.

Gai stepped up on-stage. Kiseki fought back the urge to scream like a little girl. He was wearing a pink frilly dress with a ruffled skirt (apparently, some moron told him the ruffles were very _in_ right now) and a scoop-neck. It was sleeveless and he was carrying a bouquet of red roses. There was a pale green ribbon tied around the waist. He also wore a blonde wig with curls.

Overall, it was frightening.

Kiseki shuddered. Naruto's eyes were the size of ramen bowls. "P-please... just start it... the m-m-monologue..." Kiseki shuddered again.

The spotlight shone on Gai and the lights dimmed. "O Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?" (Yes, I have the book and I memorized this scene. I used it to try out for my school play!)

Kiseki whispered to Naruto, "I hate to say it, but he's actually kinda good!"

"He might actually get the part of the princess."

Apparently, Gai had been done for a while and he was watching Naruto and Kiseki discuss his acting skills. "Yosh! Everybody! The two lovers are having a passionate discussion! Ah, young love. YOUTH!" and suddenly, every ninja in town was snapping pictures of them.

"I don't get it. What's so funny?" Kiseki asked Naruto. Naruto shrugged. Sakura whispered something in their ears. I'm not gonna tell you what it was, but their faces were bright red. Just use your imaginations people.

I SAID USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS!

"Alright, people! Move it along! We still got two more people to go! Come on, chop chop!" Kiseki screamed, her cheeks still somewhat flushed. "NEXT!"

When the room cleared, Sasuke walked up on-stage. "Sweet llamas of the Bahamas!" naruto screamed, sounding exactly like Hermes Conrad from Futurama.

"What the ham sandwich are _you_ doing here?"

Sasuke's face turned seven different shades of red. "N-no reason... my mom made me do this."

Kiseki looked at Naruto, then back at Sasuke. "Riiiiiiiiiiight..."

And then Sasuke sang Princeton's part of one of my favorite songs ever.

"_What do you do with a B in English?_

_What is my life going to be?_

_Four years of college and plenty of knowledge_

_Have earned me this useless degree_

_I can't pay the bills yet 'cause I have no skills yet_

_The world is a big scary place_

_But somehow I can't shake this feeling I might make_

_A difference to the human race!_"

Kiseki and Naruto made a record: They laughed for about an hour straight without needing to take a breath once.

Kiseki walked up to where Sasuke was when they were done. When she got there, she smacked him upside the head.

"OW! What was that for?!"

"For being an idiot! Now, run along, little girl. Play with your Barbie dolls." Kiseki pushed him off the stage.

"Wait- I don't have any Barbie dolls. Keep saying that and I'll tell everyone about those kids of yours."

"Of course you do. What kids?" Kiseki asked.

"The ones you and Naruto have." Kiseki slapped him across the face.

"I KEEP TELLING YOU WE DON'T _HAVE_ ANY CHILDRENS!" She kicked him out of the building.

"Time for Neji's act. And why does everybody assume things like that about us?" Naruto scratched is head for a long time.

"There's no way you could be thunking _that_ hard."

"I'm not thunking. My head's itchy!" Naruto insisted.

Neji got on-stage. He immediately ballroom-danced with his pet balloon, Kurt. His father said he couldn't have a pet. Then he started disco-ing. And, finally, he skipped off the stage. An explosion could be heard.

"I told you to get rid of the exploding birdseed." Kiseki shook her head. "Spongebob's gonna kill us!"

X.x

All of the tryoutees, as Kiseki called them, came back a week later.

Gai was the princess.

Kakashi was the goat.

Gaara was the cute little chipmunk with rabies.

Sasuke was the cow.

Neji was the sheep.

Tenten was John Lennon.

And Lee was Gary Coleman from TV's Different Strokes.

X.x


	3. Michi and the Origin of Spongebob

Chapter 3: Michi and the Origin of Spongebob

A blonde-haired kunoichi sat on the edge of a bridge, her pigtails blowing in the wind. (See? Told ya it wasn't Ino!)

"Today..." she whispered. "Today... is Tuesday."

Insert about ten minutes of exaggerated silence.

"Ichiraku's is having an all-you-can-eat day!!!"

X.x

Kiseki was sitting under a tree and talking to Aresu. AT THE SAME TIME! (Don't ask... I'm pretty sure it was a TV show...)

"Kiseki-chan, you know we can't get rid of Spongebob. Heck, we _all_ hate him, but Tsunade-sama won't let us make movies without him!" Aresu was being logical.

Wait. Aresu is _not_ logical. My mind must be playing tricks on me! Maybe it was the coffee I drank today.

"Why are you being logical? Did you drink from the everlasting bottle of sake? _My_ everlasting bottle of sake? WHERE IS IT???" Kiseki was up to the point where she was strangling her cousin.

"Calm down!" Aresu was turning blue. (Speaking of which, if you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?)

"Gomen nesai!"

"Come on. Ichiraku's is having an all-you-can-eat day!" Aresu screamed.

"Amen!" (I wonder why I said this. I knew I shouldn't have drunk coffee today.)

X.x

But when they got there, the saw a horrible sight.

Kiseki screamed, "Michi-chan! You came back!" Kiseki ran to hug her long-lost sister. (Note: As of today, she is not my sister anymore. She tried to make Naruto her twin brother, therefore making _me_ his sister in the process. I wasn't too into the idea of inter-family relationships. She's still my sister in the story!)

"Kiseki-chan, I was only at the store for five minutes OH MY GOD, DON'T HUG ME WOMAN! YOU HAVE RABIES!"

"Really?"

Michi rolled her eyes. "Yes. We've always known you have rabies-"

"No, not that! The other thing."

"Oh. _That._ Well, duh! Of course I was at the store! You have no more Mexican-style potatoes!"

"So _that's_ where all the Mexican-style potatoes went!" Kiseki nodded, very proud. "The whole world makes sense again!"

X.x

"So... you're making a movie? Is Onii-chan gonna be in it?" Michi clapped her hands like a four-year-old. "I'll bet if I was a movie star, Neji-kun and Sasuke-kun would _both_ be fighting for who gets to marry me!

"And where would you be then?" Kiseki asked. "And, no! Of course Onii-chan's not gonna be in it! He's dead!" (Zabuza is _my_ Onii-chan. I took back all of my original relatives, meaning I get Uncle Kakashi and Uncle Orochimaru! And my good 'ole cousin Aresu.)

"Well... I suppose I would take... Sasuke! He's hot! But..." and Michi started to go on about her usual argument with herself.

The sad part was, as much as she hated him, Kiseki would still have to admit that Sasuke was hot. It still depresses me. BUT NARUTO'S STILL BETTER!

"Then again, wasn't Onii-chan's death because of Haku?" Kiseki pointed out.

"Yeah, kinda... I guess. Da-" Kiseki hurriedly covered Michi's mouth with her hand.

"Shh! This is a Spongebob-watched community!"

"Nani? Spongebob's _still_ alive? I thought we got an S-ranked mission to kill him..."

(Flashback)

There was yellow sponge _everywhere._ Each one of them became a full-sized Spongebob with a megaphone.

"Kami-sama..." Michi whispered. Then she turned to her sister and smacked her upside the head. "Why the mayonnaise did you do that? This is all your fault!"

A leader spongebob rose above the rest. "Come on people! Move! Show some muscle!" (This tempts me to sing 'Bop to the Top' from _High School Musical._)

"Michi! What have you _done?_" Kiseki wailed.

(End flashback)

Kiseki sighed. "And it was all your fault, too."

"Ugh! We've been through this before! It was _your_ Fire Dance jutsu, it was _your_ stupid idea, and _you_ knew that Spongebob multiplied in fire! Not to mention, it exploded the mall!"

X.x

A/N: Chapter 3 done! I'm still ticked at Michi for that stupid incident that broke our sisterhood apart. NOW I'M NOT RELATED TO ONE OF MY BESTEST FRIENDS BECAUSE OF HER STUPID IDEA TO HAVE A TWIN BROTHER!


	4. Sasuke's got the hots, Kiseki is PMSing

Chapter 4: Sasuke's Got the Hots, Kiseki is PMSing

_Dear Diary,_

_I thunk I finally made a new record._ _I blushed seven shades of red! Come on. Seven?! And... why did I even bother to make up an excuse for that? Everyone knows that my mother is dead. My God, she probably thunks I'm an idiot._

–_Sasuke_

_(Wait. Doesn't she already? Man, my life sucks.)_

Yes, Sasuke has a diary. Sad, huh?

But that's not the point. The Point is, he can freaking blush _seven _shades of red! Seven! That's six more than I can blush!

Okay. _Real_ point is, out little teme has the hots for Kiseki...

...Wait till Michi finds out!

X.x

"Alright! Listen up people! It's time for scene six of _The Movie About Farm Animals and John Lennon and Gary Coleman_! Places! I need the goat, the cow, and the sheep up here _pronto!_" Kiseki screamed. Anyone with eyes could tell that she was really ticked off today.

Kakashi picked that moment to ask a particularly bad question. Considering Kiseki's mood, it was even worse that normal.

"Are you, you know, PMSing?"

Kiseki glared daggers at him "Nani?" she asked in a voice that suggested instant death.

"Um, you're just kinda... you know, angry today. I just assumed..." he noticed the death-glares Kiseki was giving him. "Uh, I be going now."

"YOU'RE FIRED! AND DON'T EVEN _THUNK_ ABOUT WATCHING TV WHEN YOU GET HOME, MISTER, 'CUZ YOU'RE GROUNDED FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Kakashi started crying. He went into a fetal position and sucked his thumb.

Naruto walked over. "Aw, come on. Suck it up! You're a shinobi! She grounds me from TV all the time and I'm still here!" Him and Kakashi got into an argument over the importance of TV. Apparently, Kiseki controls the TV privileges and Naruto has superpowers! And they don't involve ramen! Gasp!

Kiseki was searching about, looking for a new guy to play the goat. "Crap. Where am I gonna find another guy to play the goat?" she thunked for a very long time. "I just know I'm gonna regret doing this..."

X.x

"Okay, old man. You're re-hired. BUT YOU'RE STILL GROUNDED! ONE MORE CRACK LIKE THAT AND YOU'RE RE-FIRED!" Kiseki managed to shout all of that in a very nice voice. And we thunked _Sasuke_ had talents!

Spongebob started taking control. "Okay, I need the goat, the sheep, and the cow! Come on, people! Places!"

Kiseki's eyes narrowed. "Don't make me use the Fire Dance jutsu."

Everyone tackled her. Apparently they all remembered last week's incident!

Neji and Kakashi walked up on stage, no problem.

Sasuke just stood there.

Kiseki walked up to him. "Hurry! My ninja career is at risk! Besides, you've been moo-ing for the past week in the privacy of your bathroom."

(Flashback)

Sasuke was in his bathroom, practicing his moos. Unfortunately, he still sounded like a dying cabbage. "Crap! How am I gonna impress Kiseki-chan is I can't moo like a manly man?"

"And just what would _you_ know about manly men?"

Sasuke whirled around and blushed. "What- can't a man moo in the privacy of his own bathroom?"

(End flahsback)

Sasuke made a new record. He blushed _ten_ shades of red! And then...

He did the unthunkable. He obeyed her!

But first, the unthunkable thing: He hugged her.

Kiseki smacked him upside the head and used her Byakugan to put together the new taijutsu move she had just made up.

Sasuke walked up on stage, slightly on fire and badly bruised, particularly all over his stupid head. (I'll explain the taijutsu move to anyone who asks!)

Needless to say, everyone laughed.

X.x

A/N: I made Michi cry with this one. Haha! But... shudders Sasuke... _hugged_ me! I FEEL CONTAMINATED! AUGH!


	5. The Movie Completed, the Truth Revealed!

Hehe... got kinda lazy there for a while. Good thing my school doesn't do midterms or I'd be screwed! Not to mention I'm more focused on finding out what the hell emos eat! But now I have to practice for the school play and talent show, not to mention I'm writing two new Naruto fics! One is a one-shot though, so it's already done. I'm trying to finish this one in my notebook, plus I'm watching Naruto on YouTube and I'm only in episode 40! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My life is over. I can't become emo because... I'm too... PERKY! NO!

Naruto: Oh, get over it already!

X.x

Chapter 5: The Movie is Done and the Truth is Revealed!

Kiseki had gathered all the ninja involved with the movie. Other than the actors, there were stage crew fairies, graffiti artists, bombs, nuclear war starters, the works!

She put a video tape in the DVD player, and, shockingly, it worked! Though it wasn't quite what they expected...

Shino screamed, Naruto was in the bathroom so he was spared the horror, Sakura and Ino hugged each other and cried, Tenten fainted, Temari's eyes ran away, Gai's eyebrows fell off, Lee's hair fell out, Gaara grew a mustache, Kankuro lost his funny hat, Chouji ate his funny hat and began searching for Temari's eyes, Shikamaru ran around in circles at high speed screaming at the top of his lungs, and Kakashi grabbed Kiseki and started screaming at her. Oh yeah, the teme started screaming, "KISEKI! HOW COULD YOU?! I USED TO THUNK YOU WERE A GOOD PERSON! NOOOOOO!!!!" (Boy, does he have the wrong idea or _what?!_)

"HOW THE HAM SANDWICH DID YOU GET ICHA ICHA PARADISE ON VIDEO? IT'S NOT EVEN IN THEATERS YET!" Kakashi shrieked.

Kiseki shrugged. "Jiraiya's my uncle. I got all the books autographed."

The old man passed out.

The black-haired kunoichi made her way to the DVD player through the sea of chaos and tripped over Hinata and Neji who had fainted and were in a... _questionable position._

She quickly switched the movie with the real one.

Meanwhile, Naruto was in the bathroom, searching for evidence. He finally found what it was he was looking for. "So she _was _PMSing." he said with a devilish grin.

X.x

I know, I know. Short. Very short chapter. It makes me want to kills something... like Scandinavia! blows up Scandinavia I'm working on it, though. I've got the second part of this coming up _soon_.


	6. The Terrible Bet! Dun dun dun!

I toldja so. I toldja so. I said I would update _soon_ and I did! Hooray!

X.x

Chapter 6: The Terrible Bet! Dun dun dun! (wow, a short chapter name!)

The movie turned out to be pretty good. In the end, Lee got drunk and destroyed the set, causing World War 79. It was obviously a happy ending with everyone running away screaming and then Sasuke hugged Kiseki so she kicked him in the balls. Yes, a happy ending indeed!

But things took a turn for the worse the next morning.

It started out as a normal day, with Kiseki hugging her Kyo plushie (Kyo, from Fruits Basket) and walking into the kitchen singing a bit of one of her favorite songs.

"_Sousa kanashimi wo yasashisa ni/ Jibun rashisa wo chikara ni/ Mayoi nagara demo ii aruki dashite/ Mou ikkai/_" she then started to hum the rest because it got kinda fast and she wasn't good at singing that part. Though she was a pretty good singer anyway! (Very true. By the way, the song was _Kanashimi wo yasashisa ni_ from Naruto, by Little by Little. Very good song.)

When she finally got to the kitchen (why did it take so long? The world may never know!) she saw Naruto eating ramen.

"What the ham sandwich are you doing in my house?" she asked him, a strange expression on her face. It was a mixture of confusion and _much_ confusion.

Naruto gave her the same look. "This is _my_ house. Iruka-sensei just made you move in when he found you after you ran away from the land of the waves when we were six."

"What's your point?"

"What do you mean?

"Maybe so, but in my book a clean toe is a happy toe!" Kiseki nodded. She was very famous for seven things.

a) her singing. She has won every one of Konohagakure's talent competitions so far.

b) being able to eat more than Chouji without gaining any weight, due to her high metabolism and shiny hair

c) eating more ramen than Naruto in less than five seconds

d) coming up with the most humiliating dares during parties at the teme's house that _don't_ involve stripping

e) being able to get any guy she wanted, though she didn't seem to like any of them except for Naruto and Haku (but that only lasted about a week and now he's dead)

f) having the worst aim and killing more than 5,000 people by throwing one kunai, and

g) making people lose their train of thunks just by saying something very random.

She's also the reason that Konoha is watched by Spongebob and his minions. She's also friends with practically everybody there, with the exception of the teme.

With Naruto confuzzled, she started singing again, a different song. One that I haven't come up with yet.

...But I'm pretty sure it was Yasashisa no Tane, from CardCaptor Sakura.

"Shut up." Naruto grumbled.

"You're just upset because you lost your train of thunks." Kiseki retorted and began to sing the chorus to Minority by Green Day. "_I wanna be the minority/ I don't need your authority/ Down with the moral majority/ 'Cause I wanna be the minority/"_ she would have finished the song but Naruto clamped a hand over her mouth.

"You can't go anywhere without singing can you?" he whispered in her ear. "Walking to training, on missions, while watching TV, and when you cool. What would happen if you were to, say, stop singing?"

"I'd explode. Now, get off my back. I can't hold you up much longer." Kiseki shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Wait! I got it! Let's start a bet! Whoever cracks first owes the winner one hundred thousand yen!" (Yes, I know. In Naruto they use something different than yen. But I cannot translate ryo -or whatever it is, I can;t remember- into American money. Only yen. Deal with it.)

"Deal! You can't sing and... um..."

"You can't eat ramen!"

"Deal!"

It seemed like a good idea at the time, though neither of them knew what horrors and insanity awaited them- hey! Why are the horrors and insanity awaiting my anime self? I want horrors and insanity to await me too!

X.x

In the next chapter:

What horrors and insanity await Naruto and Kiseki?

Why is everybody screaming?

What the hell is wrong with Tsunade?

Why is Naruto conversing with a bowl of Rice Krispies?

And why does the author want horrors and insanity to await her too?

Plus, Kiseki's mysterious past in revealed (sort of) in a bonus feature, following Chapter 7!


End file.
